The quote above is one of many sayings that hangs in our house.
This one seems to grab my attention the most.
We were at the doctor’s office for the last appointment of the night. It was 6:00 and we were right on schedule. Our son was getting a shot and I was a little impatient, seeing that he would be needing to go to bed shortly after. Thirty minutes later, sitting with a squirmy baby on my lap, this lady was becoming a tad impatient. WHERE WAS THE DOCTOR?! Ashamed to admit, the incessant eye rolling and heavy sighs began. What was taking her so long? Our son came in happy and calm, but he was slowly starting to lose his cool (as was his mama). I could hear in the room next door another baby screaming. AND…that’s when it happened.
My husband uttered three simple words that made me stop in my tracks and think. He looked at me and calmly said:
GRANT HER GRACE.
What if that was our child and he was in pain? What if we needed the doctor to stay a bit longer to answer our questions, calm our fears, or put our worries at bay? There WILL be a time that we are on the other side. We will be late to an appointment….making the doctor wait for US. Or, we will have a sick child who needs a little extra TLC from the doc.
Put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
Put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
LESSON 1: Extend grace when you feel the urge to COMPLAIN.
Fast forward a couple weeks. It is me and my 7 month old. We are on our first airplane ride together. I’m nervous and hoping for the best. The plane is full…every seat taken. Ethan was a dream. Nothing I did to create the outcome. It was the luck of the draw. But the 18 month old boy in front of us was struggling, to say the least. As any child that age would be, the little guy didn’t want to sit still. I don’t blame him. Leg room was lacking, you have to use your “inside” voice, and sitting in the same position for over an hour gets very boring after awhile. I understand, kid. But, sadly, many passengers don’t take these things into consideration. Many people will never understand until they have kids of their own or spend time with kids (or are just very patient and kindhearted humans).
Sadly, the situation went downhill. The parents became overwhelmed as they tried to calm down their rambunctious toddler. First, the father yelled loudly. The boy hit him back. Next, the mother spanked him privately. The boy hit her back. You could tell they were embarrassed. I’m willing to bet that the passengers surrounding them were judging their actions and internally shaking their heads in disapproval. Did the way they handle their child seem harsh? I guess. But, do we have room to judge? Is it our place? No.
At some point in our life, I too, will experience a situation like this to some degree. While my son happened to have a smooth flight this time around, I know there will be other moments where he’s not at his best. I would hope that someone would understand and give a gentle nod of reassurance telling me that everything will be okay.
LESSON 2: Extend grace when you feel the urge to JUDGE.
This past weekend, it happened to me. I felt what it was like. I needed someone to grant me grace. I only had one hour to get through grocery shopping before it was time for Ethan to eat. After I was finished, I approached the checkout lane. There were two people in front of me.
I had a full cart and a very hungry baby.
And, so it began…
I had a full cart and a very hungry baby.
And, so it began…
The lady in front was visibly upset. After overhearing her conversation with the checkout lady, I came to find out that the credit card machines were down in the entire store. She was exasperated! After 15 plus minutes of waiting, four more people piled on to the end of our line…all of them rhythmically tapping their feet…waiting for progress to be made. You want to test a person’s patience level? Just hop in line at your local grocery store on a busy afternoon.
At this point, Ethan was really hungry and letting me know it. The customers behind me weren’t much happier. They were looking at the time, while checking out other lanes to see if they could get through quicker. Can’t say I blamed them. Twenty minutes later, I FINALLY made it to the front. I quickly unloaded all of my items and waited for the cashier to announce the total. I only had $100 cash and planned to put any remaining amount on my debit card. Once she rang everything up, I opened up my wallet…and BAM!
To my surprise….no cards.
You’ve got to be kidding me… I completely forgot they were in my other wallet!! What timing…..I had $50 worth of groceries that weren’t paid for. AND….
I could feel it.
The stares. The heavy sighs of annoyance. I didn’t even have to turn around to know that all of the people behind me were highly frustrated. I just knew that I was the inconvenience. I was THAT person. I was wishing and hoping that they would grant me grace. First it was the credit card machine, and now it was the lady who didn’t bring enough money with her.
So, the outcome you wonder?
The cashier had to start eliminating items out of my bags, one by one, to bring down my bill. Of course….OF COURSE…I did not have any expensive items in my cart. Nope….nothing over $5.00. This process became painfully slow. I’m sure it only lasted 3 or 4 minutes, but it felt like DAYS! Meanwhile, Ethan continued to create this sing-song of a cry….really letting me know he was STARVING at this perfect point in time. Lovely.
LESSON #3 – There’ll be moments in life when we need grace,
so be generous in granting it to others.
Oh, and the story didn’t end here. As soon as I got out to my car and turned it on, I noticed that the gas tank was on E. No cash….no cards. A car full of groceries. Somehow, I managed to get home and all was well in the world!
Moments like the ones I’ve just mentioned may seem like nothing but a blip in the radar. Yes, life does goes on. However, these instances motivate me….encourage me…..to grant grace more often. Every person you meet or cross paths with will experience some kind of struggle during the day. We all do! There are situations when we scoff at people, make them feel inferior, or belittle them (even without intention). We may think to ourselves, “I would NEVER say that. I would NEVER do that. I would NEVER react the way he did.”
The next time you feel the urge to complain, judge, criticize, or condemn someone….give them a nod and cut them some slack. Trust me….there will be a time when you need it!
Try instead to remember three simple words and say them to yourself….
GRANT THEM GRACE.
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