Welcome to Part 3 of the Birth Series. If you need to get caught up:
And now continuing from where we left off…..
“I want to show you something we noticed.”
This time, it wasn’t about the congenital heart defect on the screen. It was something more rare….and tough to wrap my head around in the moments that followed. This finding on the ultrasound is what would send me into an unexpected c-section surgery later that afternoon….
The next 15 minutes were a whirlwind. My doctor said to me, “This here (on the ultrasound) shows an umbilical vein varix.” He did his best to explain what this meant, but throw in all of the medical terminology and I was left confused . Honestly, with a 2 year old right beside me AND being slightly in shock at this new finding, I didn’t really hear much of what he was saying. I knew it didn’t sound good, but all I cared to know is what it meant for the baby and me.
Initially, the doc basically said, quite casually, that this was something we would monitor it and check back after the weekend at my next appointment.
Well, thank goodness I’ve been a question asker my entire life. The inquisitive nature in me paid off! I asked him, “This vein varix thing that you’re seeing….what exactly are the risks or complications that could occur?” He listed off a few in the beginning, but I stopped listening once he uttered the words STILL BIRTH.
WAIT, ummm…let’s rewind for a second. (Did I just hear him say still birth?!)
This thought would not stop racing through my mind, “You want me to go home, live this next week normally, with still birth now a very real risk and just check back up at the next visit, as if everything is just fine?!?”
After a litany of questions I fired his way, he paused, as he could see the fear on my face appear and my whole demeanor changing. I went from a sense of trust to feeling wary. He continued to review slides from the ultrasound throughout our entire conversation. I expressed that I did not feel comfortable leaving his office that day unless there was more clarity….insight…knowledge, heck I don’t know….something to calm my fears of what this COULD or MIGHT result in.
SOMETHING JUST DIDN’T SIT WELL WITH ME.
After a few minutes, he called his ultrasound tech back into the room and asked if the 3 of us could go back in to review these findings, to make sure, it was in fact, the vein that he was looking at, and not the artery. Apparently, this finding would make a big difference.
Meanwhile, I found myself thinking, “So if I never pressed you on this issue a few minutes ago, I would have been trudging back to my car awaiting next week’s doctor appointment?!”
And then, it came….a new conclusion.
It was an umbilical arterial aneurysm.
It wasn’t actually the vein as he originally thought, but instead the artery. Now, the terms/conditions were much different. This was far more rare than he thought.
He must have said the words, “this is very rare” ten times plus. It finally begun to sink in. He explained that this is a rare structural anomaly….so rare that only 14 confirmed cases had ever been reported in the entire nation. FOURTEEN. So you can imagine my concern when he shared this piece of information. Aneurysm? As in the type most commonly heard of in the brain? But this was in the umbilical cord?
SO MUCH TO PROCESS.
Why would I trust my doctor when basically no doctor has ever experienced this or dealt with the same situation? From the moment we sat down ten minutes ago to now, his recommendation completely changed. What I came to realize is that I would need to grasp onto this phrase…
I would need to ACCEPT that this delivery wasn’t going according to MY plan, but Gods…to know that each and every delivery is different, unique, and sometimes unpredictable, as is life. I had to LET GO of the memories I held onto from the births of my first two children. I had to have FAITH that everything would be okay.
From this point on, it all went so fast…. my doctor told me I need to come back to the hospital with with my husband, as soon as possible, to deliver the baby right away…
